What I Learned in Sunday School

January 10, 2011 at 7:28 pm (Uncategorized) ()

You have to look pretty for God,
or else you’re a sinner.
Don’t forget your slip
and your bright pink lipstick.
Don’t pick your nose
and definitely don’t worry if                                                                                                                                   you can’t remember the words to a hymn.
Just fake it.
Under no circumstances should you smile
or laugh.

Just remember, the level of your piety
is directly proportional
to how uncomfortable your shoes are
and whoever puts the most money in the collection plate
wins.

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